我在 Sutter 看的长期新冠医生要做11个血液测试。今天去抽血，给抽了10罐血。😭 还正好碰到了一个新手，还不会抽。新手抽了一罐血，针就出来了。后来最后九罐是她的老师抽的。我今天两个手臂都给戳了一下。😢
The long COVID specialist I'm seeing at Sutter wanted to run 11 blood tests. I went in for my blood test today, and they took 10 vials of blood. 😭 Also just my luck, I got an intern who didn't know how to draw blood. After the intern took the first vial, the needle came out. Her mentor had to do the other 9 vials. I got poked once in both arms today. 😢
我昨天晚上和爸妈去了 Mines Road、State Route 130、和 Mt. Hamilton 拍夜景。我和爸一直拍到了今天早上五点。😁 昨天晚上在山里开车的时候，我爸不小心撞了野猪，我们车的 bumper 有一点点损伤。我们撞的好像是野猪的屁股，所以 bumper 上还有点野猪屎。😓 我等会儿因该去把车上的野猪屎去洗掉。。。
Last night, my parents and I went to Mines Road, State Route 130, and Mt. Hamilton for night photography. My dad and I were shooting until 5 AM. 😁 As we were driving in the mountain, my dad accidentally hit a wild boar. Our bumper took a little damage. I think we hit the boar's butt so there is a tiny bit of poop on it. 😓 I should go wash off the wild boar poop off our car later...
我不知道你们知不知道，我有专门给我兔子做的一个博客（你要是不知道的话，可以在这里找到。这个博客没有中文。）。我今天才发现我那个博客上还有 Google+ 的代码。Google+ 2019年就没了。我把博客上 Google+ 代码这件事忘记了！😂 我现在清理掉了。
I don't know if you know, but I have a blog for my pet rabbit (Berg). If you don't know, you can find it here. The blog is in English only. Today, I found Google+ code on the blog. Google+ was retired in 2019. I completely forgot I still had Google+ code on the blog. 😂 I cleaned it up now.
我这几天好像把我旧的照片全部整理完了。我也哭了很久。我最早的照片2005就开始拍了。好多很伤心的记忆在里面。我小时候三岁，那是还在中国呢，第一次跟我妈说我觉得我是个女孩儿想要她把我当成女儿，可是她没把我当回事。那时候她还骗了我，给我留下了创伤。（这件事我就不想多说了。）我十六岁才知道变性是什么。中间痛苦了很久，也不知道多少次不想活下去了。我也看到那时候十六岁刚开始有点打扮成女生的样子拍的照片，可是那是父母不接受。我那时候忧郁的拍出来的照片装个笑脸都装不出来。😭 我开始用雌性激素以后就不一样了，那个笑是真的，我那年拍了好多自拍啊！后来过了几年又没有拍太多了，一直到疫情中间我减了肥，又拍了好多自拍啊。😂 我还看到那时候二零零八到二零零九年的时候钓了好多鱼，有时候每天跑一个地方钓鱼。我妈再说她和爸以为可以帮我忧郁症好一点。我现在看着都有点恶心了。我那时候杀生杀了很多，一直都是有点可怜那些鱼的。现在我吃素了，所以不杀生了。有可能一部分也是那时候的记忆有把我推回来又变成佛教徒了。这几天感觉好像这么多年从新过了一遍，有好的记忆也有坏的记忆，就是坏的记忆比较多。。。
I think I finished sorting all of my old photos these past few days. I also cried a lot. Some of the earliest photos are from 2005. There are a ton of memories in them. The first time I came out to my mom, I was 3 and still in China. I told her I felt I'm a girl and I wanted her to treat me as if I'm her daughter. She didn't take me seriously. In fact she lied to me and left me with trauma. (I don't want to elaborate on this anymore.) I didn't know what being transgender was until I was 16. I suffered a lot during that time, and even thought about not wanting to live a lot. I can see photos from when I'm 16 when I first started really dressing up as a female, but my parents wouldn't accept me. I was so depressed back then, I couldn't even fake a smile. 😭 Once I started hormone pills, I started smiling for real, and I shot so many selfies! A while after that, the selfies died down. Then after that, during the pandemic, I started taking a ton of selfies again after I lost a ton of weight. 😂 I also saw so many fishing photos from 2008 to 2009, sometimes our family went to a different spot to fish every day. My mom told me that she and my dad thought it might help with my depression. I feel a bit nauseous just looking at them now. I killed so much life back then, and I always felt a bit bad for the fish. I'm now a vegetarian, so I no longer kill animals. Maybe a small part of me coming back to Buddhism was because of those memories. These past few days has me feeling like I've been reliving all those years all over again, with good memories and bad memories, but unfortunately most of it was bad...